No, a CIA Spy Wasn’t Captured In Ukraine

Look at all these heroic government agents–defending the shit out of democracy.

Sometimes conspiracy paranoia just makes me want to laugh–other times, it makes me want to cringe. If you enjoy that kind of thing, the current uprisings in Ukraine and Venezuela against vile, corrupt, authoritarian police states will provide you with plenty of fodder.

Based on the assumption that America is the root of all evil in the world, certain people assume that any state that opposes the US must be a beacon of “true” freedom against the evil capitalist empire. Thus, any attempt to bring down those governments must really be an evil western conspiracy. This idea leads to terrifically idiotic alliances between some on the American left and a few “paleo-conservatives” to defend foreign despots who are terrorizing their own people.

Enter “Before It’s News,” with its neverending series of explosive (and inevitably bullshit) conspiracy allegations. Yesterday they published a story with the bombshell title “CIA Agent Captured In Ukraine Helping Ukranian [sic] Protesters – Video Here.” (I won’t link them–if you want to read it, Google it.)


What’s the proof? The article links to a video on LiveLeak which appears to show riot police at the Kiev protests, standing over a beaten and bloodied man. They pass around a wallet with the emblem of the “International Police Association,” containing a badge and an ID written in Ukrainian. Based on this, the authors conclude this man is a CIA officer set on overthrowing the government.

On its face, this is spectacularly stupid. CIA agents do not have badges, nor do they carry ID, particularly when they are infiltrating foreign countries.


So what is the International Police Association? It is a police fraternity of current and retired police officers, with chapters all over the world–including Ukraine. What this video actually appears to show is a bunch of government thugs beating the hell out of a retired Ukrainian police officer.

The deranged paranoia of the establishment (in this case, the Ukrainian regime and its apologists) is ludicrous and frightening. One can only hope this “CIA agent” is no longer being detained and receiving medical attention, but I wouldn’t bet on it.